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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29474343">Alternative</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/polymona/pseuds/polymona'>polymona</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon-Typical Violence, Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Episode AU: s15e18 Despair, Episode Fix-it, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hugs, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:54:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29474343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/polymona/pseuds/polymona</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Why does this sound like goodbye?</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Because it is.</i>
</p>
<p>Not if Dean Winchester had anything to say about it.<br/><br/>[ In which an angel blade and Dean's quick thinking prevents The Empty from taking Castiel - or at least only taking a small piece of him ]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>SPN Finale "Destiel is CANON" Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Alternative</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Having just binge watched for the first time 15 seasons of Supernatural over a span of only 3 months, my heart has been ripped out and stepped on multiple times.</p>
<p>So of course I had to write a Despair fix-it fic, sorry if there are probably many thousands of these already.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/><br/>"Why does this sound like goodbye?"<br/><br/>"Because it is."<br/><br/>Dean was frozen in place, his mind racing, barely even registering all of the nice things Cas was saying about him, because after the first few words, he could only focus on one thing.<br/><br/><em>That dumb bastard made a deal, and the cost was his life.</em><br/><br/>"Don't do this."<br/><br/><em>Cas was going to die, was going to leave him, again.</em><br/><br/>Not if Dean Winchester had anything to say about it.<br/><br/>"I love you."<br/><br/>The sound of Billie's pounding at the door mixed with the pounding of Dean's own heartbeat in his head. He could no longer tell the two apart as the void opened behind them, dark ooze gathering, preparing to strike.<br/><br/>When Cas stepped forward, his bloodied hand readying to shove him out of the way, Dean snapped from his stupor of despair, and latched onto the shocked angel with all his might as soon as the hand connected with his shoulder, using the force of his fall to pull them both to the ground, narrowly avoiding the blast of ooze sailing above their heads.<br/><br/>Time slowed to a crawl for Dean Winchester. He would only have seconds to act.<br/><br/><em>Think. There must be another way. Think.</em><br/><br/>Cas looked up at the hunter with a pained, confused look as Dean pinned him in place on the floor, Billie busting through the door just in time to be engulfed by the tendrils of the void.<br/><br/><em>The Empty is where angels and demons go when they die.</em><br/><br/>Wild-eyed, Dean hurriedly started feeling though Cas's trenchcoat, searching, hoping.<br/><br/><em>Where angels go.</em><br/><br/>Behind them The Empty bubbled and boiled, another tendril from the dark preparing it's final strike, readying to take its final victim.<br/><br/><em>There's no time.</em><br/><br/>Cas closed his eyes in resignation, ready for the end, at the same time a desperate Dean finally laid hands on the angel blade.<br/><br/>The roar of the void was heading right for them as Dean sliced open the angel's throat, his grace spilling violently into the air.<br/><br/>Dean watched on in horror as the gentle blue glow above them was engulfed in its entirety by the infinite blackness and pulled backwards towards The Empty.<br/><br/>Cas cried out as the last drops of his grace were ripped painfully from him by the force of the retreating darkness. The Empty had finally claimed him, but only that small part of him it was entitled to.<br/><br/>"Cas!" Dean shouted as blood now poured from the former angel's neck, "No!"<br/><br/><em>I cut too deep. I cut him too deep.</em><br/><br/>"Dean?" He managed weakly, eyes fluttering, as he felt the hunter's hands at his neck, putting pressure to attempt to keep his human blood in. <br/><br/>Forgotten off to the side, Dean's cell phone began to ring, sliding along the quickly reddening concrete with each deafening buzz.<br/><br/>"Stay with me, Cas!" Dean pleaded as Cas closed his eyes, the world going dark to the sounds of the echoing vibrations. <br/><br/><em>Don't leave me alone again!</em><br/><br/><br/>~*~<br/><br/><br/>The first thing he became aware of was how warm and content he felt. He had said his piece to Dean, and now he could rest.<br/><br/>Cas stirred slightly and blinked in the darkness. Something was off. The empty didn't feel like this the last time. Nevermind that he was aware and having conscious thoughts regarding his current situation.<br/><br/>He tried to move and found his body unusually heavy and weak.<br/><br/>There was a faint glow coming from the edges of his vision. But there should be no light in the void.<br/><br/>Cas willed himself to turn his head, a tightness at this neck, his eyes finally coming into focus on the green numbers of an alarm clock.<br/><br/>This wasn't the empty.<br/><br/><em>Am I dreaming?</em><br/><br/>He reached up to investigate the tingling at this throat, his fingers finding a thick bandage carefully taped there.<br/><br/>Cas's eyes widened as it all came flooding back.<br/><br/><em>I'm alive.</em><br/><br/>He hastily reached for the bedside table, finding a lamp and clicking it on.<br/><br/>Cas looked around. He was in the bunker, and in Dean's bedroom at that, his bloodied trenchcoat draped carefully over a nearby chair.<br/><br/>A tall glass of water was sitting next to the clock, along with his cell phone and a hastily scrawled note.</p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>BACK SOON<br/><span class="u">DON'T MOVE</span><br/>- DEAN</p>
</div><p>Cas managed a few sips of water before he groaned, feeling faint from sitting up too quickly. He sat the glass back down and clicked off the light, letting himself slide back down into the blankets and memory foam.<br/><br/><em>Dean.</em><br/><br/>His heart fluttered in the darkness of the room.<br/><br/>Just this once he would obey. Cas stayed put and let sleep take him.<br/> <br/><br/>~*~<br/><br/><br/>The former angel jolted awake at the sound of the bunker's main door slamming closed in the distance. <br/><br/>Cas shut his eyes tightly and listened with nervous energy as hurried footsteps came barreling down the hallway, throwing open the bedroom door.<br/><br/>He didn't even realize he had been holding his breath until he felt Dean's hands frantically feeling at his neck for a pulse.<br/><br/>Cas gasped, eyes flying open to meet Dean's terrified, tear-stained eyes.<br/><br/>"Cas," the hunter breathed, letting his hand slide up from Cas's neck to gently cup his jaw. <br/><br/><em>I thought I killed you.</em><br/><br/>"How is he?" Sam's voice interrupted, peeking through the door from the hallway. Cas could see Jack was there also.<br/><br/>"I'm alive," the former angel replied weakly, managing half a smile.<br/><br/>"Give us a minute, would ya?" Dean said, without taking his eyes away from Cas. Behind them Sam pulled the bedroom door closed, footsteps retreating deeper into the bunker.<br/><br/>As soon as they were alone, Dean bent down over the former angel, gripping onto him in a tight hug. <br/><br/>"You dumb bastard," Dean grumbled into Cas's shoulder, holding on as if afraid that if he let go, Cas might disappear.<br/><br/><em>I love you.</em><br/><br/>"You're welcome," Cas replied gruffly, wrapping his arms around Dean as the hunter sighed deeply into his shirt.<br/><br/><em>I know.</em><br/><br/><br/>~*~<br/><br/><br/>Dean didn't truely realize how exhausted he had been, until he awakened a couple of hours later with warm breath at his neck, and an arm clinging to his waist. He had fallen asleep hugging Cas.<br/><br/>As the hunter started to move away, the former angel looked up at him, eyes shining.<br/><br/>"It's okay, Dean."<br/><br/><em>That my grace is gone. That you don't have to do anything, give me anything, owe me anything.</em><br/><br/>"What?"<br/><br/><em>That I didn't say anything back there? That I cut your throat without asking?</em><br/><br/>"Everything."<br/><br/><em>That we are both alive and together in the same place.</em><br/><br/>Dean stared at Cas intensely, until finally something snapped inside of him. He could no longer ignore the calling of his heart.<br/><br/>The hunter smiled and shook his head no, as if to say that everything is not okay, in fact, it could be much, much better.<br/><br/>Moments later, Cas found himself mildly shocked at being tenderly kissed by Dean Winchester. <br/><br/>Only then was all right in the world, even if the universe was falling apart around them-that would be a problem to be solved another day.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yell at me on tumblr: <a href="http://polymona.tumblr.com">polymona</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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